I love my ex-wife. I will always love my ex-wife. I did not want to get a divorce but what was I going to do, demand she stay married to me. That doesn't help anyone.
Anyway...near as I can come to understand my wife divorced me in large part do to the fact that I suffer from anxiety. I was not getting it treated very well, are life was definitely not what we wanted it to be and my wife "was not in love with me."
So it struck me the other night at 5 am when I woke up for a nightmare (ironically in which my ex dumped me) that my ex-wife had pulled a Newt Gingrich. Newt seems to have a propensity for ending marriages when his wives are sick. Anxiety is an illness. My wife left me while I was suffering from anxiety.
I am not really saying this to make any judgment on her. I know that she would hate being compared to Newt Gingrich. Who would want to be compared to him?
I am writing this mostly for me because I need to understand that mental illness/disorder/whatever you want to call it is a disease. It can be treated and most importantly it is not who I am. I am not anxiety and anxiety is not me.
So, yeah... My wife divorced me because I was sick and she was done dealing with it. It happens to a lot of people. I feel like if I had cancer people would be sympathetic to me. But I sat around the house and watched a lot of TV while stressing about applying for jobs.
Well, basically I have completely offended my ex and demanded s pity. My only solace is that no one on the internets reads my blog.